I got back on Monday from England.  I LOVED it.  It's so beautiful there.  Hopefully, me and the kids will be able to move there soon.  I've started the court process to do so.

I'll post pics and more about it later.  For now, here's a video of me, Matt, my soon to be father in law, and our friend Rob....extremely drunk.  Rob took the video!

Matt's mother died this morning.

I leave for England tomorrow for the funeral.

I have a myspace...cause my daughter wanted one...hafta keep an eye on her.  

Add me if you want...  http://www.myspace.com/laine_baby

My son, who is 10, has been talking to a counselor at school.  His teachers felt that he seemed unhappy.

He hates that school for one and I think in the beginning that was part of the problem.

The counselor called me yesterday and told me that Mishka told her that he hated his dad and that he didn't think his dad cared about him.  That his dad thinks he's scum.

So I called the dickhead sperm donor to tell him this.

And he informs me basically that he didn't care what his son thought of him.  But if he gets approved to go back to California where his horsed faced tart is he's going to take me to court to sue me for full custody, unless I agree to let the kids live with him for a year, every other year.

I told him over my dead body and a lot of other choice words.

And I've got an appointment with a lawyer on wednesday.  He can kiss my ass.  I've had enough of him getting his own way about everything. 

He's also holding the kid's passports hostage, even though he had already said I could take them to England this summer.

That fucker.  He knows Matt is gone and I am vulnerable.  So he's trying to kick me while I'm down.  Fuck him.

I just have to get this out...

I feel...

angry

alone

abandoned

forgotten about

jaded

used

did I mention angry?

And I can't talk about any of it to anyone...